Paul Bulos - Behind the Mask: professionalism vs authenticity.
Mask: (Noun) a covering for all or part of the face, worn as a disguise, or to amuse or frighten others; (Verb) to conceal something from view.
The wearing of face coverings has long been an integral part of life for many. In certain cultures, they are worn out of respect for faith or tradition; in many professions, they’re a necessary encumbrance to protect against the risk of physical harm, such as by healthcare staff, scientific, factory or construction workers. Then there are the actors and performers, for whom a mask is both literal and figurative: it may be a material disguise they use to portray a particular character, although more commonly it’s a metaphorical ‘mask’, whereby their physical appearance remains the same, but they adopt an entirely different persona.
To all those people familiar with the trials and tribulations of wearing a mask, I offer respect. The Covid-19 pandemic brought mask-wearing to a global population, defining our daily lives, and it hasn’t always been easy! Many of us have made the best of a necessary ‘evil’ by wearing decorative face coverings or even capitalising on promotion opportunities with branded designs. However, willingly we have embraced this enforced safety/fashion accessory. It hasn’t been without its complications and consequences, and eighteen months down the line of coronavirus-dictated restrictions, I have been pondering these.
In broad strokes, we can point to a mask as having a dual purpose: on the one hand, protection; on the other, projection. In the former context, we are concerned with safety; in the latter, we seek to disguise or reinvention.
Intrinsically, what all mask wearers have in common is that their faces, to a large extent, are hidden – and when we consider that non-verbal communication is universally considered by psychologists to be vastly more significant than verbal, with facial expression being most critical of all in terms of conveying emotion and establishing a human connection, it is little wonder that we’ve all felt a degree of discomfort and disconnection going about our daily lives in recent times. With our faces covered, it’s not always easy to perceive how someone reacts to you – or feeling in themselves.
During the pandemic, there has been an unavoidable barrier between us all during social interaction – a blank screen, if you like. And the human brain doesn’t like blank screens; in fact, it’s programmed to fill them in. When we cannot see visual clues to a person’s emotions, our unconscious mind tends to write its own script based on internalised pre-supposition and anxieties: Are they angry? Are they laughing at me? This, of course, leaves us feeling insecure about being misjudged while at the same time concerned about misjudging others, and so we over-project our reactions to make sure we’re giving the right impression.
It occurs to me that this deliberate ‘projection’ of persona isn’t new and exclusive to mask-wearing pandemic times, and I’m reminded of how often during my 30-year career I’ve heard people comment that they feel they have to ‘wear a mask’ at work. Pondering the dual purpose of protection and projection again, I’m struck by how this aligns with one of the most common issues I hear from coaching clients: how to feel more in tune with their own needs and values and become more authentic in their working lives.
We all want to present our best selves at work. None of us (I would guess!) attended lockdown Zoom meetings dressed in pyjamas, hair unbrushed and with last night’s dinner plates piled around us. Nor would we stroll into our offices and put our feet up on the desk, regaling our colleagues in detail about the row we’ve just had with our partner. Those casual behaviours belong to our private world and more intimate relationships.
On the flip side, it isn’t helpful to adopt an entirely fake persona. I would go so far as to say it can be seriously damaging. At the very least, if we spend every hour of our working days pretending to be something or someone we’re not, the mental strain will become enormous. Feeling ourselves fully – having the confidence to live and work with integrity and authenticity – is critical to wellness. So what’s stopping us?
In the first instance, having a sense of psychological safety at work is imperative. This remains a huge issue within many companies. Much work is still to be done to bring about a cultural shift to help employees feel more comfortable admitting gaps in their knowledge and even making mistakes. Leaders must continue to strive for this shift, not only for the wellbeing of their staff but also to ensure continued professional development. After all, if we never fail at anything, how can we learn to do better?
Psychological safety is crucial, but even with supportive leaders, it isn’t always easy to be genuinely authentic: to own the things we struggle with and give full reign to our true personalities. This can be exacerbated during times of economic uncertainty and job uncertainty when we all feel a very human tendency to hide our mistakes, feelings, and even parts of our character as we fear being judged. We make ourselves ‘less’ or hide behind a mask to project the image we believe everyone wants to see.
The consequence of this lack of authenticity is a triple whammy. Firstly, hiding our true selves takes a considerable effort, and in exerting this, we risk damaging our mental health. Secondly, repressing our true nature – for instance, our creativity, energy or drive to succeed – can, in fact, negatively impact our professional performance by suppressing the very qualities that should help us succeed. Thirdly, in projecting an over-professionalised image, we risk quashing our innate empathy and compassion, which contributes to a psychologically unsafe work culture. It’s a destructive downward spiral.
That isn’t to say there shouldn’t be any boundaries between the personal and professional: maintaining respectful conduct and interactions at work is very important, and, as above, there are some behaviours that simply don’t belong in the workplace. But there needs to be a balance so that we uphold professionalism while at the same time allowing our true personalities to shine through. Admittedly, this can be a fine line to tread – to navigate between projection and protection. I see this particularly with clients who are leaders, who sometimes feel a strong need to appear unremittingly professional and in control at all times. This is fine up to a point, but taken too far, it risks them coming across as detached and un-empathic – whereas the best leaders are the exact opposite.
At this point, I’m reminded of the TV programmes The Masked Singer and The Masked Dancer and the audience’s exuberant chants of ‘Take it off! Take it off!’ Out of pure human curiosity, we’re all desperate to see who is ‘behind the mask’; in our working lives, for genuine engagement, respect and effective interaction with our colleagues, I believe we need to. The consequences of not showing enough of who we really are can be severe. If we never ‘drop’ the mask, our colleagues will write their own mental script about us – and the chances are it will be wide of the mark, leading to poor working relationships.
Authenticity enables us to perform better professionally and inspire a stronger performance in others; it also fosters a sense of congruence and wellness, enhancing our mental health. And when we feel better, we do better, so there is a further knock-on effect on our performance levels. In contrast to the destructive downward spiral of ‘fakeness’, authenticity creates an ever-increasing cycle of positivity – and it begins with having the confidence to ‘drop the mask’.
For those of you shuddering at the idea of being fully, truly yourself at work, I would add that authenticity isn’t about wholly exposing our innermost sensibilities – although feeling vulnerable can be a considerable strength - if we are willing to be open, our capacity to learn increases exponentially. It is about maintaining professionalism while at the same time allowing our unique strengths and personality traits to shine through: to be real, human, in touch with your inner resources and therefore able to connect effectively with others.
So how can we achieve this ideal balance? Three key areas can help considerably, and, as coaches, my colleagues and I at fifty50 can support you to explore and strengthen your:
Self-awareness: knowing yourself and unpicking what is important to you, your values, motivators, goals and aspirations – and reflecting on obstacles that may be stopping you achieve them;
Self-empowerment: reminding yourself of the strengths you have, the value you bring, thereby building your self-confidence to give your true opinions and behave congruently, without fear of judgement;
Self-actualisation: becoming your true self and walking your chosen path, your way, with the resilience to encounter challenges, manage conflict and continue to thrive.
In conclusion: What lies behind the mask? You. The person you want to be, with all the unique qualities you have to contribute to the world. What are the benefits of taking the mask off? Becoming more accepting of yourself and comfortable with others: living an authentic life, with professionalism but without pretence.
Right now, we all need to stay safe and continue to protect ourselves from the coronavirus – keep wearing that uncomfortable face mask. But, please, in the best interests of your mental and emotional health, as well as your sense of purpose and connection at work, let it only be a physical one.